Rabu, 07 September 2011
Minggu, 10 Juli 2011
Positivity Blog
I am 28 now. I don't think about the past or regret things much these days.
But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned over the last few years a bit earlier. That perhaps there had been a self-improvement class in school. And in some ways there probably was.
Because some of these 16 things in this article a teacher probably spoke about in class. But I forgot about them or didn't pay attention.
Some of it would probably not have stuck in my mind anyway. Or just been too far outside my reality at the time for me to accept and use.
But I still think that taking a few hours from all those German language classes and use them for some personal development classes would have been a good idea. Perhaps for just an hour a week in high school. It would probably be useful for many students and on a larger scale quite helpful for society in general.
So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just would like to have known about earlier).
1. The 80/20 rule.
This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. The 80/20 rule - also known as The Pareto Principle - basically says that 80 percent of the value you will receive will come from 20 percent of your activities.
So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to do as you may think.
You can just drop - or vastly decrease the time you spend on - a whole bunch of things.
And if you do that you will have more time and energy to spend on those things that really brings your value, happiness, fulfilment and so on.
2. Parkinson's Law.
You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you'll come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to grow more difficult and you'll spend more and more time trying to come up with a solution.
So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week) to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions and action.
The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may wind up with a better result because you haven't overcomplicated or overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you can totally focus on what's in front of you instead of having some looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.
3. Batching.
Boring or routine tasks can create a lot of procrastination and low-level anxiety. One good way to get these things done quickly is to batch them. This means that you do them all in row. You will be able to do them quicker because there is less "start-up time" compared to if you spread them out. And when you are batching you become fully engaged in the tasks and more focused.
A batch of things to do in an hour today may look like this: Clean your desk / answer today's emails / do the dishes / make three calls / write a grocery shopping list for tomorrow.
4. First, give value. Then, get value. Not the other way around.
This is a bit of a counterintuitive thing. There is often an idea that someone should give us something or do something for us before we give back. The problem is just that a lot of people think that way. And so far less than possible is given either way.
If you want to increase the value you receive (money, love, kindness, opportunities etc.) you have to increase the value you give. Because over time you pretty much get what you give. It would perhaps be nice to get something for nothing. But that seldom happens.
5. Be proactive. Not reactive.
This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot of time before it happens.
A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.
6. Mistakes and failures are good.
When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As you grow a bit older, you learn from - for example - school to not make mistakes. And you try less and less things.
This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean, what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would laugh at you?
Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don't care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry about.
And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes and failure. It comes from being persistent.
When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over. Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike. If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that way - instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups often do - you would probably experience a lot more interesting things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.
7. Don't beat yourself up.
Why do people give up after just few mistakes or failures? Well, I think one big reason is because they beat themselves up way too much. But it's a kinda pointless habit. It only creates additional and unnecessary pain inside you and wastes your precious time. It's best to try to drop this habit as much as you can.
8. Assume rapport.
Meeting new people is fun. But it can also induce nervousness. We all want to make a good first impression and not get stuck in an awkward conversation.
The best way to do this that I have found so far is to assume rapport. This means that you simply pretend that you are meeting one of your best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind instead of the nervous one.
This works surprisingly well. You can read more about it in How to Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport.
9. Use your reticular activation system to your advantage.
I learned about the organs and the inner workings of the body in class but nobody told me about the reticular activation system. And that's a shame, because this is one of the most powerful things you can learn about. What this focus system, this R.A.S, in your mind does is to allow you to see in your surroundings what you focus your thoughts on. It pretty much always helps you to find what you are looking for.
So you really need to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. And keep that focus steady.
Setting goals and reviewing them frequently is one way to keep your focus on what's important and to help you take action that will move your closer to toward where you want to go. Another way is just to use external reminders such as pieces of paper where you can, for instance, write down a few things from this post like "Give value" or "Assume rapport". And then you can put those pieces of paper on your fridge, bathroom mirror etc.
10. Your attitude changes your reality.
We have all heard that you should keep a positive attitude or perhaps that "you need to change your attitude!". That is a nice piece of advice I suppose, but without any more reasons to do it is very easy to just brush such suggestions off and continue using your old attitude.
But the thing that I've discovered the last few years is that if you change your attitude, you actually change your reality. When you for instance use a positive attitude instead of a negative one you start to see things and viewpoints that were invisible to you before. You may think to yourself "why haven't I thought about things this way before?".
When you change your attitude you change what you focus on. And all things in your world can now be seen in a different light.
This is of course very similar to the previous tip but I wanted to give this one some space. Because changing your attitude can create an insane change in your world. It might not look like it if you just think about it though. Pessimism might seem like realism. But that is mostly because your R.A.S is tuned into seeing all the negative things you want to see. And that makes you "right" a lot of the time. And perhaps that is what you want. On the other hand, there are more fun things than being right all the time.
If you try changing your attitude for real - instead of analysing such a concept in your mind - you'll be surprised.
You may want to read more about this topic in Take the Positivity Challenge!
11. Gratitude is a simple way to make yourself feel happy.
Sure, I was probably told that I should be grateful. Perhaps because it was the right thing to do or just something I should do. But if someone had said that feeling grateful about things for minute or two is a great way to turn a negative mood into a happy one I would probably have practised gratitude more. It is also a good tool for keeping your attitude up and focusing on the right things. And to make other people happy. Which tends to make you even happier, since emotions are contagious.
12. Don't compare yourself to others.
The ego wants to compare. It wants to find reasons for you to feel good about yourself ("I've got a new bike!"). But by doing that it also becomes very hard to not compare yourself to others who have more than you ("Oh no, Bill has bought an even nicer bike!"). And so you don't feel so good about yourself once again. If you compare yourself to others you let the world around control how you feel about yourself. It always becomes a rollercoaster of emotions.
A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown. It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.
13. 80-90% of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.
14. Don't take things too seriously.
It's very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big problem right now you may not even remember in three years.
Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an extension of that; your life.
15. Write everything down.
If your memory is anything like mine then it's like a leaking bucket. Many of your good or great ideas may be lost forever if you don't make a habit of writing things down. This is also a good way to keep your focus on what you want. Read more about it in Why You Should Write Things Down.
16. There are opportunities in just about every experience.
In pretty much any experience there are always things that you can learn from it and things within the experience that can help you to grow. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even better than a success because it teaches you something totally new, something that another success could never teach you.
Whenever you have a "negative experience" ask yourself: where is the opportunity in this? What is good about this situation? One negative experience can - with time - help you create many very positive experiences.
What do you wish someone had told you in school or you had just learned earlier in life?
Sabtu, 09 Juli 2011
Search of hopes (chapter 2)
“M-Mister David?!” said the girl. The angelic face of teen girl showed quite a shock. It was Irina Sykes.
“Uh… Irina…? What are you doing in this place?” David tried to hide his surprise as well and spoke with his casual coolness and composure. The flame of hope he had for the previous seconds just went out.
“I-I am waiting for Sheryl, Mister David.” Irina responded. She could never expect that she will meet David here.
“Sheryl, the Cosmos Maiden you spoke of?”
“You are very true, Mister David.”
“So, about how long have you been waiting here?” David was actually quite curious, as to why Irina wore a different attire than she used to. Right now, she was dressed like a common townfolk, and that was why he had mistaken her for that girl. She still looked mesmerizing, even with that attire.
“Umm, I don’t really know, but I remember seeing one Narwhal flying on the sky.”
The habit of Narwhal, or the rare sky dragons, is to seek food at noon, when the sun is in its highest position at the sky. Usually about two hours later they are heading back to their nests, as the frequency of wind breeze in Fornstrand increases.
“It must be..”
“Yes, quite a long time Mister David,” she answered with her usual cute voice.
“She must have forgotten about the appointment, Irina.” Though the absent-mindedness of Miss Sheryl was obvious, Irina still believed in her. Still, this girl's innocence and naivette was really quite appealing to him. “Besides, it is going to get dangerous here, especially in the dark. The one-eyed monsters, manhunters are most likely to appear… Let me escort you back home.”
“I thought that would be so. But please, Mister David, I really want to wait for a little longer ” Irina pleaded.
“Well then, if you say so...” Somehow the charming voice of Irina was so hard to reject, just the same as her high-spirited brother used to be.
“I don’t want to be a bother to you, Mister David. You can go ahead. I believe you have a lot of stuff to take care of. I will be fine with this invincible elixir from the famous scientist we had assisted before. I can go back safely, I am sure of it. And armorshells, I can handle them with a little bit of fighting skills Miss Emmy had taught me. And… it's also thanks to you...” She smiled with her cute-looking face.
Her streak of stubbornness annoyed him a little. But her bravery to come here alone and her strong will to stay just reminded him of her brother, Rush.
“Then... I guess you left me with not many options...” He smirked and sighed He could not make her do things as he wished. Altough he was Lord of Athlum, he did not have much authority upon the Sykes siblings.
“But Mister David...”
“Irina, I have already given my word to keep you safe to your mother and I will keep my promise.”
Suddenly, there was an awkward stillness hanging between them, an uneasiness after he spoke those words. Before Irina finally broke the silence.
”Mister David…” she paused. David saw a bitter smile on her face for a few seconds before she turned her gaze up to the sky. ”Today is my brother’s birthday.”
Rush’s birthday? David looked at Irina. She had already seated herself on one of the rocks there. Her hands held one purple aster, which raised curiosity in David’s heart. Why does she love those purple asters so much?
“I know it sounds strange, Mister David, since he is a remnant. But Mom and Dad usually celebrated his birthday on this day. We were...” Irina fell silent as if she could not cope with the grief she felt and it was way too painful for her to reminisce. “Lately, I had been dreaming about him a lot. In my dreams he said he will come back.”
David walked closer to Irina and sat beside her. He knew her grief, he knew too well about the pain of losing someone, but yet he just could not find any words to say to her.
“Mister David... It may sound more than a little out of sense, but... Somehow I know he will back. I know he will.”
“Irina... “
“I have to do something. Mister David, I know, and you know that there is a way to revive him, right?”
If there was something like that, he definitely would... Suddenly he thought of Emma, the girl from his childhood, his father, his mother… It sounds too good to be true, right? Reviving dead people. It had never crossed his mind. The ancient folktales, telling the stories about reviving the lost ones usually end badly, whether the one who was revived is turned evil or the person who tried to bring back their lost one comes back insane. Too much horror was wrapped around those tales and death is definitely one giant mystery, as well as a certainty for those who live. There was almost nothing he could do but to accept it. Too much risk to try such things. But this girl with her appealing faith, how could he break her hopes?
“Well, there are... ways. But I am not quite sure myself.”
“Mister David, perhaps you might have missed the story of our fellow fighters back then?”
“Fellow fighters?”
“Yes, our fellow fighter, Rhagoh and his twin sister, Kate,” she responded.
Rhagoh, yes, he remembered him. He heard that Rush was travelling with him to Robelia castle, to find his sister.
” Do you plan on going to Robelia"?
She nodded.
”That is why I asked Sheryl, she is the closest person I can contact right now. As a beautiful Cosmos Maiden she is quite famous, people were talking about seeing her going out with Rhagoh,that is what I heard. I need to see Rhagoh to get the key to the Underground Tier.”
“I see..” replied David. Obviously Marina and John Sykes’ cleverness had been passed on Irina. She must have been thinking thoroughly about this. “But, who’ll take you there?”
“I have not decided that myself yet, Mister David. All I need now is to collect as much information as I can,” she gave him a would-you-come-with-me look.
David sighed. It would take time. Could he leave Athlum for that long? Considering the city's condition now, it seemed impossible for him to leave her when there was no guarantee that things were under control.
“Unfortunately, I am afraid that we have some problems in Athlum now, Irina.” David recognized the change in Irina's face; she looked worried.
“Has something worse happened, Mister David?”
Strangely enough, all the things that were occupying his head - his fear, his worry for Athlum and his insecurity - just escaped his mouth, with no resistance nor awkwardness that he usually felt when he was talking about his inner feelings to others. But with those attentive eyes of Irina, the words flowed smoothly, just like when he was with Rush or with his childhood girl-friend. Now the burden on his shoulders got somehow lighter.
“My apologies, Irina. I...” He felt ashamed that he was being so grumpy.
“Uh, you don’t have to, Mister David. I am glad if I can be of any help,” she smiled. “Anyway, Mister David, I believe that nothing bad can happen to Athlum, if you're in charge,” she said. “You had brought independence to Athlum so far.”
Nothing bad can happen to Athlum, if you're in charge. That very words of her touched his heart. Like a freshness of rejuvenating water in the middle of the burning heat of the Great Sand Sea. The words that his childhood girl-friend had also said. Those words were exactly the same words he longed to hear. He really longed to hear.
“I wish that is so, too,” David responded. He saw the same gleam of his childhood girl-friend in Irina’s eyes in an instant. A reassurance. He realized that even though the burden of leadership was on his shoulders, actually he wasn’t really struggling alone making decisions and defending Athlum. He had people beside him, whom he can always count on, some of them were his generals to support him.
“M-mister David? Haven’t you stared long enough?” She blushed and seemed to be trying to hide her face elsewhere.
“Uh, nnn, had I? Oh my apologies...” He was distracted. It was clear that he was lost in her eyes.
“Anyway, you are right, Irina.” He tightened grip on his rapier “I am coming with you.”
“But what about Athlum?”
“I figured it out. I need some help, I will be asking for joint forces from our fellow friends. They sure want to help, if it’s about reviving Rush. After that, perhaps I will be able to ask them for some help for Athlum too. With the strength of our fellow fighters - the Silver Falcons and the others, it will be a lot of help.” he winked.
“A warrior gathering! Yay! Thank you, Mister David!” Irina exclaimed happily. Her eyes were gleaming.
A reunion, wouldn’t it be nice?
“About armors for Athlumian soldiers, why don’t we go ask Gabriel from Celapaleis? He sells swords, doesn’t he? I wonder if he could give us a discount or perhaps something for credit?” She suggested enthusiastically.
“That would do for sure.” David smiled.
The sunset in Cape of Delusion could not have been more beautiful. The golden spark of sun rays reflected by the sea, like an awakening hope in their hearts. The warm feeling infiltrating the soul, the colours of water playing trick with their eyes, causing the breath to stop of amazement for the moment.
“Awww, see, what we have here! A nice couple, aren’t you? Lord David of Athlum and Lady Irina of Nagapur! I bet many ladies and lads would have their heart broken by now!”
“I-it’s not what you think... We...” David stammered. While David and Irina both amazed by the sunset view in Fornstrand, the sudden appearance of the blonde Cosmos Maiden surprised them. Somehow David felt as if he were caught red-handed by Emma or Torgal from skipping his duties. "I believe you have been misguided.”
"Hee-hee, you should see the look on your face. It was priceless!" Teased Sheryl.
“Sheryl!” shouted Irina. “What took you so long? I had been waiting for you! And where is Rhagoh? You supposed to bring him.” David was so relieved by the change of the topic.
“About that, err... I was about to decorate my room and decided to get some lilies. Somehow I got lost when I was looking for them and realized it was late, then I headed back to see Rhagoh. I found him in Nordenalm pub, the place we used to meet. ‘Come with me, I have an important matter to attend to.’ I said. Without much thinking, I grabbed his hand and dragged him along. However, he freed his hand and shouted, ’Stop! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ I was startled, Rhagoh has always been gentle in his manner. Before long, I realized it was Rhagoh's twin sister, Kate. ‘Get lost! Rhagoh's been doing business and he headed back to Celapaleis,' she said. ‘Why didn’t he tell me?’ I asked. ‘Listen, I am not his spokesman. Don’t get bitching with me. Leave me, the hell, alone!’ By that time, I knew it was really late and I rushed here.”
“Wait, Sheryl, what do you mean by 'Lady Irina of Nagapur'?”
“Huh? You sure missed a lot of news, Lord David.” Sheryl gave him a look of disbelief.
“It must be quite surprising for you, as it was for me, Mister David. The ceremony of me being titled 'Lady of Nagapur' was not officially announced yet. Only few people know about it, Miss Sheryl's one of them, since she is the Cosmos Maiden and will be taking part in preparing the ceremony. It was kept secret in order not to make the political stability of Nagapur worse. I believe the ceremony will be held in the coming week” Irina began to explain.”As you know, since Duke Hermeien’s gone, who was actually my own uncle and my grandpa now rules the Nagapur back, Mom was supposed to be the Duchess of Nagapur. However, Mom refused to stay in the castle, nor to be titled Lady Marina. She chose to continue doing researches in Academy and help Dad. Researching was the best thing she can do for the sake of the better world, she said. Especially without remnants, the advancement of technology is really needed. Miss Haruko had made a lot of projects, It seems the Academy got busier nowadays. Honestly, I want to help Mom and Dad with their research too. I like doing those stuff and working with them. But I could not choose that way then.”
“So, you are now Lady Irina of Nagapur...” David understood now as why she was dressed differently than she used to. She must have been sneaking out from the castle, leaving visistone message, just like she did when she headed alone to Darken Forest. That was also her reason to insist on waiting for Sheryl, because the opportunity for her to be able to get out from the Wyrmskeep must be really rare. He sighed at the thought of how bad he missed a lot of information. As the Chairman of the Congress, he should not miss such important issue.
A Reunion
This is my first fanfiction, from a game 'the Last Remnant' copyright belong to Square Enix. Someone encouraged me to write. Somehow I just terribly in love with the game (up to my imagination filled the empty spaces in my head), so I needed to write it down. It was quite fun but also hard as well. The image belongs to Square Enix.
Pict: David Nassau
David Nassau felt the breeze stroke his blonde hair. It was calm on the seaside of Fornstrand. So peaceful. The vicious crabs, armorshells, seemed to be nowhere to be seen.
The weather in Fornstrand is known to change every few decades from calm to stormy and so on, as the cycle goes. At the moment, the sky was clear and the sea looked calm. But unlike the calm Starry Shore of Fornstrand, his head was in such a turmoil, as if it was messed with by a giant storm. But as a lord of Athlum, he had to maintain his composure, the image of poised and cool-headed young master, who he always tried to be in front of everyone.
The Conqueror was gone and so was Rush. The most energetic youth he had ever known. Although the fear of collapses might have had disappeared, the storm basically wasn’t over yet. The struggle to keep the peace of the world seemed never ending, or could he really achieve that luxurious dream? At least in his very own land of Athlum, he was very concerned about.
After all remnants have vanished, the beastmen were most likely to attack anytime. They were getting stronger, it seemed; or were that the Athlumian soldiers and especially himself were getting weaker? Without the Gae Bolg, battles were getting harder and harder. Now they reached the point where his confidence was consumed and he felt desperately exhausted after all the battles. The people of Athlum had to pay higher taxes for the army. Without the increase of income it was really difficult to pay. Due to security reasons, the trade in Athlum was troubled. He knew that in times like these it was unwise to raise the taxes, but how could the Athlumian soldiers even survive the battles without appropriate weapons and armors? The price of those blades and shields increased, also due to security reasons - the traders were afraid of traveling to Athlum. Also without the presence of remnant teleporters, it was a really long and hard trip to travel back and forth.They lost an important means of transportation.
Under these circumstances it was also hard to keep the peace in Athlum herself. Terrors also happened within the city. Some groups of citizens just could not take it anymore and they protested. Even the so-called Syndicate members got it wrong. Though his most trusted Torgal and Allan had already taken care of it, the thought of making his people suffer just kept creeping over him. Did the efforts he made in the battles were really for the glory of Athlum? What use he had of the "glory of Athlum", if he couldn’t make his people prosper?
Suddenly the hollow void grew bigger and bigger in his heart. Was he really fit for being Lord? He felt that words of Lord Qubine from Celapaleis were right. That sometimes it is difficult to make decisions on your own. If Athlum were still a principality of Celapaleis, supposedly the Celapalean army would provide help by now. But being only the neighbouring country, Celapaleis could not help. They had their own internal conflicts, as aristocrats began to rebel against the ruling government.
Just like in old times, David sought comfort in the beautiful Starry Shore of Fornstrand, watching the water sparkling in the sunlight. The cries of eagle-like avians with lion tail, hraevelgs, could be heard from afar. There he used to meet with the girl, who had always believed in him. He used to share the burdens he bore on his shoulder with the girl amidst the comforting sound of waves and vast blue sea. Afterwards, he could always find the strength to move on, he could find his confidence. He could always find those in the gleam of her eyes and her faith.
No matter how bad he longed for her, he could never see her again. He failed to save her, because he couldn’t use the Gae Bolg freely when the attack happened. He failed. He failed to save Emma, his skilled General, who had also cared for him like his own mother, when his true mother and father passed away. He lost Rush. He lost people, who were very dear to him. The wailing in his heart now was unbearable.
David touched his right eye, as if to feel the part of Gae Bolg which used to be attached to him. Something he used to think as a burden, but now wanted back so badly. He raised his arm straight, as if he were to target and shot enemies with his ex-machina.
Gae Bolg, I call upon thee. Nothing happened, He looked up at the sky, just to hear the cries of hraevelgs tearing the Fornstrand sky.
In this very situation, without Gae Bolg, how can he keep Athlum safe? The question perturbed him like a nightmare.
While looking down, he walked towards the Cape of Delusion, watching armorshells creeping aside, as he dragged his rapier. Nothing bad can happen to Athlum if you're in charge. It was what she said. Then he smiled to the memory with the same wry smile he made as the girl spoke those words. But eventually what she said came true. Athlum gained independence.
His eyes followed the armorshells and he felt a sudden thrill when his gaze met a shape like a mitra girl standing nearby with her back turned to him. Exactly at the very spot the girl he used to meet with usually waited for him. It was exactly the same figure. Her figure, still vividly burned in his memory of five years ago when he was about 14 years old. He was really sure that it was her and that he was unlikely to be wrong.
“It cannot be.. It cannot be her. She… she… Could it be?!”
He reached out to the girl’s shoulder with his free hand. But the moment his hand touched her and the girl turned around, his heart throbbed.
Sabtu, 04 Juni 2011
Why do i still not recommend this kind relationship?
Rabu, 25 Mei 2011
Graduation Day
When will be mine? I wonder, but though I am not so enthusiast about graduation day.
But sure I want to finish fast.
Things are sometimes just not in accordance to our plan. This time, it happened to my research. I admitted that I was not really into my research. But somehow, I felt like things are harder than I expected. There were so many things went wrong. In a while, it is easier to make excuses, but it's not good for a long term. Since when I was making excuses, I didn't really search for solution.
About my team mates, I felt that I couldn't cooperate well. First I got the toughest job. Then especially a person which making me sick. She is my junior. She couldn't finish the research proposal on time. I pitied her. Since she is also under the same academic supervisor as mine and since our research project are closely related, I lent her my soft copy of proposal. I also made her the financial planning of her research. One day I had a chance to look at her finished proposal and found out that she took some of my sentences and using them as hers! without even bother to paraphrase or something. I had never thought that plagiarism could be this heart breaking, I had headache making those sentences. Then she skipped one or two group discussions, exactly when we splitted the job. The great thing was the discussion result in she got the easier task and I got the hardest. What a lucky b...
Random thought
We tend to disappoint or even angry when things don't work in they way we want, hope or expected to be. Like something not supposed to be happen. For example, nobody wants to be hurt, but there someone come, irritate and make us hurt. No matter a stranger or a close relatives. Other example is when we expect our work would result in success, but it happens the other way around, it fails terribly. Or when we wait for someone to come or for a chance to appear but seems that we will wait forever, There is, when we expect something and things just happen out of expectation in the way isn't 'comfortable' to us.
So that there is a lot of chance to be irritated or disappointed because life has lot of surprised for us. What happen is that sometimes things just out of our control, no matter we think and plan for it, No matter how bad we cry or beg for it. Therefore the problem should be simplified into two things: something we can control and something we just can't.
When things aren't they way we expected to be and there is nothing much to do to change what had been done or what had happened, the thing we could change is only our feeling towards what happened. I know how devastated it feels, when we had put almost everything.
I remembered the character of Final Fantasy VIII (games), Squall Leonheart said, "The bigger the hope, the greater the pain." Hella, that's quite true. But I don't mean to say stop hoping. Because when there is no hope, it feels like as boring as dead.
What I want to say is that: just accept it. When things are not in accordance to our hope then, just try to accept it and synchronize our feeling again with the nature. Because that's the way we could be happy.
I used to protest, rebel, and fight against life. Telling life's unfair. Struggling. I still do sometimes.
But what do I know about fairness? I have so little knowledge, how can I verify myself right?
What I think is the ideal or best, perhaps is not the best or ideal at all, and it happens that life prove me that what I used to think good is actually not.
Sabtu, 07 Mei 2011
HITLER is everywhere ^^
gak sengaja gua pas lagi bosen cleansing data.. terus buka2 youtube cari hiburan.. eEeh.. tau2 nemuin ini.. ahahahahgh... menghibur banget....
ni yang masih pada penasaran ama kucing2 yang mirip Hitler silahkan klik disini
heuheu :D
Anyway...
This is our real Hitler ^^
semoga kita semua bisa berkumpul bersama lagi,,
[raOy]
Jumat, 29 April 2011
Precious ONE from wei_cheng_tseng on Vimeo.
Ini adalah kisah tentang persahabatan antara kamera dan lampu bohlam. Mereka bekerja bersama sebagai partner. Si kamera, dia bagian meng-capture setiap momen, sementara si bohlam bagian ngasih cahaya untuk meneranginya. Suatu hari, ada tamu misterius yang muncul dalam hidup mereka. Mereka sibuk mengejar si tamu itu dengan penuh semangat dan menghadirkan suasana yang cukup seru. Tapi hal itu justru membawa mereka pada rasa kehilangan yang amat mendalam.
Losing someone we love is painful, but somehow the loss denotes what we have loved. The loss reveals to us who is truly our precious one.
Rabu, 20 April 2011
transfer pendapatan dlm fenomena joki 3 in 1
Dalam perjalanan rumah-kantor atau sebaliknya, gw selalu senang mengamati pemandangan, sebenernya c ga seneng2 amat, cuman karena udah pusing sama macet yang bikin gw tua di jalan, so gw lebih baik memanfaatkan waktu dengan merenungi apa yang terjadi di luar sanah. Dan pemandangan yang amat sangat mencolok saat perjalanan adalah teng...teng...teng....yup.. joki. Amat sangat miris melihat banyaknya orang baik tua muda berdiri di pinggir jalan sambil menarik perhatian mobil yang kira2 tertarik untuk membawanya. Melihat itu, gw terpikir "ini orang2 kerjanya apa ya?? setelah jam2 3 in 1 berlalu, apakah yg mereka kerjakan?? enak banged ya kerjanya cuma pagi dan sore, udah gitu sekali dibawa kena tarif 20 ribu, cukup lah untuk makan sehari kalau emang hidup single (belum berkeluarga)" andaikan tiap pagi dan sore dia dapet mobil yang mau membawanya, maka dalem sehari penghasilannya 40 ribu. Yah cukup untuk makan sehari per orang. Setelah gw pikir2 ternyata enak banged yah hidup begitu. Secara mikro, emang keperluan hidup sehari-hari memang tercover dengan asumsi mereka hidup sendiri. Namun sekali lagi, jika dihitung secara makro, jika mereka bekerja 4 jam dalam sehari, maka dalam hitungan kantor, tersisa 4 jam yang masih bisa dimanfaatkan seseorang dalam bekerja. Apabila diasumsikan satu orang dalam satu jam bisa menghasilkan 10 ribu. Maka sisa 4 jam tersebut masih bisa menghasilkan 40ribu, dan bayangkan berapa orang yang berbaris di jalan. Sepanjang jalan sebelum masuk kawasan 3 in 1, kira2 bisa diratakan sekitar 100 orang, maka jika diakumulasikan 40ribu dikalikan seratus orang, maka secara makro akan kehilangan gdp sebanyak 4juta, yah mungkin agak kecil jika dibandingkan penghasilan orang menengah ke atas, namun bagi kalangan menengah ke bawah, angka tersebut lumayan untuk mengurangi beban hidupnya. Agak miris namun jika direnungkan lebih mendalam terdapat peristiwa transfer pendapatan atau keuntungan antara kalangan menengah ke bawah dengan kalangan menengah ke atas. Artinya dalam peristiwa tersebut terjadi simbiosis mutualisme antara kalangan menengah ke bawah dengan kalangan menengah ke atas. Kalangan atas memerlukan joki agar terhindar kawasan 3 in 1, sedangkan kalangan bawah yang emang nganggur membutuhkan uang untuk makan, sehingga terjadilah transfer pendapatan sekitar 20 ribu untuk sekali jalur antara kalangan menengah ke atas dengan kalangan menengah ke bawah. Dalam putaran ekonomi, sebenernya transfer tersebut merupakan proses menuju keseimbangan dalam mengurangi kesenjangan pendapatan. Namun sayangnya, kegiatan transfer ini berlangsung dalam kegiatan yang negatif. Memanfaatkan celah dari hukum yang telah dibuat. Entah kenapa gw pun jadi bingung sendiri?? sebenernya celah2 yang selalu dimanfaatkan tiap2 orang dalam mengakali hukum yang berlaku udah nunjukin kalau manusia itu memang kreatif dan unik, namun.... sekali lagi sangat disayangkan kreativitasnya disalurkan pada jalur yang negatif dan bukan positif. Andaikan transfer pendapatan yang terjadi pada fenomena joki tersebut dapat diubah dalam bentuk lain??? mungkin saja kesenjangan pendapatan yang terjadi di Indonesia dapat segera secara perlahan walaupun lambat bisa teratasi. Minimal maju perlahan dibandingkan tidak maju sama sekali atau bahkan berkurang.
*t*
Jumat, 08 April 2011
The Journey
Sabtu, 02 April 2011
khusus perokok
Minggu, 27 Maret 2011
Rules tambahan
emang penting ya? hahaha
Sorry gw dengan semena-mena mengajukan rancangan undang-undang blog ini wkwkwk.
Dilatar belakangi komentar iRa bahwa dalam rules di blog ini ngga ada istilah nyampah..
so, gw jadi tertarik nambahin rules selanjutnya hihihi..
1. Ngga ada istilah nyampah di blog ini.
Mau curhat, mau cuman nempel gambar, mau komentar sepotong, mau naro apaaaa aja deh..
karya tulis, gambar, cerita lucu, konyol, sedih, or secrets..
share di sini!!
kadang kita malu sih buat share di forum yang lebih gede, jadi ya seengga nya ini juga bisa jadi batu loncatan, siapa tau ada yg mau share atau posting di tempat yg lain, untuk menyemangati.
we're all reader here!
practices make perfect.
2.Berhubung saya suka pelupa, jadi kalau ada yg posting.. please kasih pemberitauan yakk..
gimana setuju ga? Jadi tiap ada orang yg posting, kasih pemberitauan di Fb, twitter atau apa..
especially to me (manik), karena 'itu' tadi hehe..
Because I am eager to read your post, but,, sometimes I do forget to check hehe..
(dengan begini jadi ngga lupa password juga, lol)
Sebenernya cuman mau posting yg rules no dua sich hehe, soalnya no 1 kayaknya udah pasti :D
Ada yang lain?
Manga Keren!
Dearest all!
Di tengah segala deadline, gw malah ngelakuin hal yang ngga2..
contohnya baca manga online he..
Sampai gw ketemu sama manga yang simpel, tapi lucu.
Judulnya Kimi to Boku (artinya: Kamu dan Aku)
Dari reviewer, ada yg bilang kalau manga ini piece of gem.
Ngga berlebihan gw rasa.
Manga ini ngga terkenal di luar Jepang, tapi sumpah gw ngga nyesel kesandung baca manga ini hehe. Saking sukanya entah kenapa, rasanya pengen share ke orang2 dan bilang, Ini manga bagus banget! Reading recommended. Layaknya ABG labil yg histeris klo liat idolanya, gw kayaknya semangat ngasih tau ke orang2 klo gw suka manga ini.
Ceritanya berkisar antara empat orang cowok yang udah temenan dari kecil namanya Yuuta, Yuuki, Kaname dan Shun. Awalnya bingung bacanya habis gw ngga tau siapa-siapa, soalnya komik awalnya ngga pake introduction, langsung mulai aja. Apalagi ngebedain Yuuta sama Yuuki itu yg anak kembar susah banget, baru nyadar klo potongan rambutnya beda. Gambarnya emang simpel, tapi ceritanya bagus deh.
Keempat sohib ini kocak abis, meski kepribadiannya beda2, tapi mereka tetap bareng. Karena kepribadian yg beda2 ini jadi bikin kocak. Mereka sekarang udah SMA, tapi ceritanya bolak-balik dari masa SMA ke taman kanak2.
Kalau berminat bisa dibaca di mangafox, atau klo ke ipb ada softcopynya (saking demennya sampe gw save)
Mau baca klik di sini
atau ini http://www.mangafox.com/manga/kimi_to_boku/
Have a good time :D
Curhat ngaco..
Wih kangen,,
Akhir-akhir ini lagi keder banget (ngomongin keder gw jadi ikut2an hehe)
Gw pikir mahasiswa tingkat akhir bakal lebih santai, ngga taunya..
Rasanya sampe ngga bisa napas, hehe, keder banget gw.
sedikit nyampah dan mengeluarkan uneg-uneg..
Entahlah mungkin gw yg ngga bisa manage, tapi emang beneran jenuh banget dan rasanya ngga bisa handle..
Parah nih curhat dot com nya, ngga curhat lagi sih ini namanya, ngeluh.com
Emang sih seharusnya ngga ngeluh kayak gini, emang tiap tantangan hidup harusnya bisa kita hadapi..
But, well, we're not always on the right path everytime, aren't we?
Mencoba memaafkan diri sendiri, hehe.. whereas, I was slacking, way too often.
Entahlah gw jadi kehilangan tujuan,
dan sempat kehilangan minat juga.. bahasa kerennya futuur kali ya.
Mungkin semua berawal dari gw yg terlalu yes-man, ngga bisa bilang ngga dan terlalu ngegampangin sebuah kerjaan. Sehingga gw nge-iya-in.
Seminggu 7 hari, 24 jam rasanya ngga cukup,
time goes so fast, tau2 udah bulan depan lagi.
When the fact it is the way too hard for me, so I started to lose confidence.
Or did I put myself too high or did I just become a baby?
But the pressure just mounted..
Jadi ngaco nih ngomongnya hehe..
cuma curhat.com, not to be taken seriously.
soal penghematan
Kamis, 10 Maret 2011
tak berinti
gini.... kan gw baca bukunya siapa ya lupa namanya, hehehe, pokonya bukunya berjudul "nibiru dan ksatria.....lupa lagi" hehehe, maklum sudah tua. Hmmm.... buku ntu menceritakan hampir sejenis kayak harry potter gt deh, kalo yang gw tangkep c gt, cerita khayalan (fiksi) cuma kejadiannya di Indonesia, latarnya jaman purba gt tp pas gw baca ceritanya kayaknya teknologinya udah melebihi dr jaman kita sekarang, jadi bingung sebenernya itu jaman purba apa jaman masa depan ntar??? hahaha, sebenrnya bukan ini c yang mau gw omongin.
Intinya sehabis gw membaca buku itu, trs harry potter juga, gw jadi membayangkan enak banged ya kl khayalan kita bisa dilukiskan dalam sebuah kata2, bahkan bisa menjadi buku. Kenapa gw bilang enak??? karena di dunia khayalan kita bisa bertindak semau kita, kita bisa menciptakan karakter yang aneh, hewan yang aneh, bahkan hal yang tidak mungkin dalam dunia nyata pun bakal bisa kita ciptakan, dan itu ga ada yg protes, karena yah emang disitu dunia kita. Hmm..... gw pikir2 enak banged c kayak begitu, dan gw mencoba pengen kayak gitu tapi sayangnya gw ga bisa bermain kata2, gw ga bisa mencurahkan apa yang ada dalam khayalan gw dalam suatu bentuk cerita yang utuh. Padahal gw pengen banged menciptakan yang aneh2, hahahaha, ngayal.com. Tp apa daya bakat tak bisa dipaksa, mungkin bakat gw adalah yah jadi penikmat dr buku2 khayalan yg sudah terbit, hahahaha, ujung2nya itu...
maap yah temen2 gw nulis tanpa ada inti cerita gini, ngawur kemana2, abis gw lagi iseng c, yoweesss, cukup sekian dan terimakasih.
maap ya jadi nyampah gini, hehehehehe
Senin, 28 Februari 2011
agak stresss
baiklah kalau begitu gw akan mencoba meramaikan....
hohohohohohohohohohohoho
hmm... cerita apa yah???? gmn kalo cerita gw di kantor??? wkwkwkwkwkwkwk, basi bgd c tp ya gw pengen cerita bgd, abis gw agak2 stress nih. Sedang mengalami ketidakpercayaan pada diri sendiri terutama masalah identitas gw yg udah mulai agak berumur tapi kelakuan masih agak bocah T.T.
Jadi begini..... gw di kantor itu akhirnya bergaul dengan orang2 yang agak berumur, yah lumayan lah agak2 jauh dari gw umurnya, dan oleh karena itulah sebabnya gw sering banged dijadikan bulanan2 untuk mereka kerjain, apalagi gw orangnya super duper polos yang bener2 polos, dan itulah yang bikin gw jadi malu sendiri, ditambah pula gw masih anak baru, yg hooh-hooh ajah kl dibilangin. Malu..... banged. Rasanya gw kalo mau ke meja kerja lagi pengen pake topeng ajah, gara2 mereka selalu bikin gw jadi salting.
Pernah juga sangking polosnya gw jadi terkesan ga punya sopan santun, huhuhuhuhu, padahal gw ga bermaksud gt juga. Trs pernah juga gw sampe kayak ngrjain bos gw sendiri, padahal ini semua akibat missunderstanding juga c, hihihihi. tapi jujur ajah ini c lucu mungkin bagi mereka dan bagi gw, tapi....... gw yang mengalami amat sangat stress. Gw jadi bingung harus ngapain. Gw ngomong salah, gw diem juga salah, hiks. Dan gara2 itulah gw jadi pengen banged tampil dewasa tapi apa daya??? sifat gw ga pas, gw ga suka basa-basi, gw juga ga ngerti bercandaan orang2 gede. Sedangkan lu semua tau sendiri kan kl kita becanda tuh ya paling sekedar cuma ngebahas2 khayalan gw ajah, iya kan??? tp ini..... hiks...hiks...hiks,,,gw masih ga ngerti gmn pola becandanya, dan gw lah yang menjadi korban,,,,, hoa..... sedih.
temen2 ada solusi ga gw musti pagimana yag??? gw jadi stres sendiri kl mau ke kantor, padahal gw tau juga mereka2 semua ga bermaksud kayak gitu juga, tapi sepertinya apa yang gw pikirin mereka tau, bahkan gw ketakutan gara2 ulah mereka pun mereka, tau, alhasil semua yang ada dipikiran, tabiat, rahasia gw mereka tau,,,huhuhuhuhuhuhu. gmn nih caranya biar ga polos2 amat, setidaknya apa yang ada di dalam kepala gw ga ketawan ma mereka???
terimakasih teman2.....
*t*